and suffering endured by all Eagle's fans during an Andy Reid post game press conference is undeniable. It possesses an extra sting in the backside while viewing this pointless media event, after a tough loss. Reid sweats like a fat kid after high school phys ed class and appears to be more uncomfortable than a claustrophobic, trapped in the trunk of a vehicle. So, it is with great pleasure, for the sake of all fellow Eagles fans, that I give you the top things we don't want to hear from Andy Reid after a loss.1. The Time Is Yours. The perspiring walrus always uses this phrase to let the media know that he is ready for their questions. In reality, he is neither ready nor willing to honestly or candidly answer anything. He avoids all problem issues with great resolve and has an annoying tendency to repeat a few key phrases that he feels are applicable to every football game. And while we are pondering the prospect of time. How about managing the damn clock and your timeouts for once?
2. We got out coached by so and so's team today. The bottom line is--- we all watched the game. The play calling was awful. The game management was piss poor. And not a single fan missed the fact that you refused to attempt a run or simple QB sneak in your 5 opportunities on 4th and inches. Throwing yourself under the bus only reminds us of long lost, losing days where we were under the fearless leadership of NFL coaching legend, Rich Kotite.
3. I'll criticize the officials if all of you pay my fines. Earth to Andy! Earth to Andy! You just got screwed! Your fans, players, and even management are tired of your emotionless responses to controversial in game activity. Lay it out there for your squad and just blast an official for a questionable call that may have cost you a game. We may not pay your fines but we do pay absurd amounts of money for tickets. It is imperative that our coach not seem like an aimless zombie from a night of the living dead flick.
4. We've got to do a better job with that. Obviously, this goes without saying. And it would hold true merit, if any of us actually believed that you would do something different next week to improve the situation. But we all know that you are going to have your quarterback throw 65 times per game, be left with no timeouts in the fourth quarter, and refuse to make game adjustments like a competent football coach. So please, stop building false hope for Eagles nation.
5. Any mention of any play that you challenged in your history as a head coach. Any pre game preparation should include the application of super glue to the red challenge flag, while attaching it to Reid's pocket. All, instant replay challenges should be handled by a lucky fan that is selected by random lottery from the stadium. Could they possibly lose any more challenges or create more ill advised decisions than Reid? I would surely bet not.
We should not gripe or complain about the overall success during Andy Reid's tenure as head football coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. He has consistently led a playoff caliber squad for more than a decade and defined this program as the example of competitive consistency in the NFL. But we don't need a grumbling, groveling show of sorrow, while addressing your inadequacies after a loss. Nobody wants to hear a tape recorded list of excuses, that you spew following a tough defeat. A simple burst of we got our ass kicked and stunk up the joint is clearly sufficient. Now...... The time is yours.
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