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Showing posts with label Batman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Batman. Show all posts

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Five Ways Batman And Robin Will Turn Carson Palmer Into The Joker

CINCINNATI - 2009:  Carson Palmer of the Cincinnati Bengals poses for his 2009 NFL headshot at photo day in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by NFL Photos)
It was all fun and games as the dynamic duo patrolled Gotham city in their quest to maintain order and a safe environment. If only the same could be said about our latest so called super heroes that have graced, or should I say, taken over the city of Cincinnati. The incorrigible tandem of Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens have teamed up to create what some may perceive as a nightmare for quarterback Carson Palmer. Here are the top five reasons that they risk turning him into the joker.

1. Last time I checked there is only one football on the field at all times during play. Both Ochocinco and Owens demand a fair number of looks and are never shy about pinning blame on the quarterback when they are not receiving their fair share. Prepare to be the villain, Carson.

2. Best Actor vs. Best Supporting Actor- Call me out of line, but when is the last time that either of these two former superstars ever accepted their role as a sidekick? And now that we have already put a label on which player will portray a certain character, the feelings of malcontent and inferiority are bound to run rampant. God bless the soul that is, in large part, responsible for the bulk of their success. Hope you look good in makeup, Carson.

3. A team leader and quarterback may just be responsible for clearing the air about how winning football games take priority over the quantity and quality of touchdown dances. And something tells me that neither Ochocinco nor Owens will be able to grasp this revolutionary, team concept. In any circumstance, Palmer could very well come off looking like a clown.

4. I think we all agree that the Bengals could use a dash of heroics and a noble presence to patrol the locker room. With the past history of arrests and the numerous presence of disciplinary issues on the squad, they would have to welcome a drastic return to order. But how can this be accomplished when the superheroes battle amongst themselves in a clash of the titans. With this type of anarchy, the dynamic duo might very well have to paste that ever present signature smile on Carson's face.

5. We would all love to see a joyous, satisfying, big picture ending to this saga. But the truth remains that all superheroes are strong and fearless. Not many have been featured out of the prime of their careers with fading skill and aging bodies. And the truth remains that both lack their original breakaway speed and breathtaking big play ability that was once the focal point of opposing defense game planning. Truth be told, when was the last time you heard Batman complaining about serious contact during the course of his assigned duties? Trick or Treat, Carson. You may be ringing the doorbell as the Dark Knight by Halloween.

All jokes aside, Palmer should be considered the superhero, for even attempting to lead this group of circus egomaniacs every Sunday. Ideally, he will spread the ball around to keep everyone at ease, and the Bengals will win enough football games to promote a sequel to this warped story. At it's worst, Carson will have to magically avoid the explosions, electrocutions, and titanic pitfalls that the Joker was so famous for evading. We just hope that this new transformation of character doesn't do to his career what it did to Heath Ledger