FOX Displays Eagle's Domination and Kolb As Cheerleader

The toughest call in Sunday's Eagles, Jaguars game may have been deciding who was most uncomfortable. Was it the ineffective Jaguars, who were dominated on both sides of the ball or Kevin Kolb who was reduced to a giggling, celebrating cheerleader on the sideline? Both were in full shameless display during the late afternoon, lopsided affair.

The Michael Vick experience was, once again, even better than advertised. Vick rose above the hype and proved coach Andy Reid to be a flip flopping genius, by throwing for three scores and scrambling on foot for another. His maturation process was never more evident than through his poise and patience in the pocket. Vick demonstrated a lightening quick release and too quick advantage of the speed edge, receivers Desean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin, possessed versus an over matched Jacksonville secondary. Vick took his renowned cannon arm and showed a newly focused touch and accuracy which was on full display during numerous, perfectly timed, sideline patterns.

If anything on the field of play upstaged Vick, it would be the devastating thrashing that the Eagle's defense dealt to the Jags. The defensive line blew Jacksonville's offensive front off of the ball, creating additional turmoil for struggling QB, David Garrard. The Jags failed to reach 200 yards in total offense for the game while Garrard threw one interception. In reality, he could have been picked off 6 or 7 times as hurried, errant passes fell just out of the grasp of Eagle defenders.

Thankfully, FOX was able to make the most of its air time by switching to its own special report, media side show. Anytime Michael Vick produced significant results on the field, the camera would immediately flash to the sideline to gauge the reaction of Kevin Kolb. Kolb put on his best acting face and would have been better served, for FOX TV purposes, to be wearing a wig and cheerleader costume. In his best Kim Kardashian/ Jessica Simpson impersonation, Kolb clapped and danced his way to the title of America's most endearing backup quarterback.

For now, the quarterback controversy, has been put safely, away to bed. The resurgence of Michael Vick has captured the undivided support in the locker room and created a pressing back order of football jerseys in gift shops. And stopping short of wearing a number 7 replica, Kolb has continued to be a model, supportive teammate.

Favre Gets Playboy Gift Baskett As Consolation Prize

Raise your hands if you think Minnesota QB, Brett Favre would now be happier on a tractor on his farm then attempting to lead an 0-2 football team? Somehow you just know that Brett would have gained more satisfaction out of watching the drooling Vikings fans who were rabidly awaiting a decision than getting his head kicked in and throwing interceptions like a developing rookie. A painful loss in the NFC title game was bad enough but a following season titanic flop after a tearful recruitment trip from your kicker, must be too much to bear for Favre.

But hold the phone, Viking land. Your beaten group of purple warriors have now added the services of nomad and traveling practice squad hero, Hank Baskett. Baskett is  best known for his high profile marriage to Playboy starlet and reality show phenom, Kendra Wilkinson. His football career and corresponding statistics are not near as spectacular nor prolific.

Baskett was released by the Philadelphia Eagles after his second tour of duty on September 21st and is now in his second glorious go around with the Minnesota Vikings. Vike's fans have to be wondering how a number 4 caliber wide receiver and special teams standout is going to turn the tables around for an ailing football team that had high Super Bowl aspirations. For a team that was in need of a little star power with the ability to stretch the field and bail out Favre in a pinch, this move hardly fit the bill as a blockbuster difference maker.

With star receiver Sidney Rice sidelined for nearly half the year and the speedy Percy Harvin nursing his migraines, Favre needed another weapon to compliment sturdy tight end Visanthe Shiancoe. Vincent Jackson would have been the perfect fit as he had both the size and red zone presence to once again let Brett the gunslinger fire away without caution. But the rumored two second round draft picks that San Diego demanded as compensation for Jackson, all but killed the chance of any sane front office jumping in to take a shot.

So until the next great rumor surfaces or the grumbling of discontent sparks another prospect of a dynamite trade, the Vikings will line up behind Favre and hope to grind their way back into contention. Adrian Peterson will face 8 and 9 man fronts and Brett will be longing for a game of touch football in his wranglers. The defense, intimidating as it can be, will strive to limit their opponent to points and create turnovers as to place its one dimensional offense in advantageous situations. And as for Baskett? Any opportunity is better than being forced back to the Playboy Mansion to suck on a pipe while Heff sizes up your wife.

Dollar Dog Night Is Phillie's Full Moon

It is purely the stuff that legends are made of . A dark secret in folklore which is passed by word of mouth from superstitious Phillies fans of all ages. Or maybe just an exaggeration not worthy of competing with Bigfoot, the loch ness Monster and other great fabled myths. It is the famous Philadelphia Phillies dollar hot dog night and ticket stubs should clearly warn to enter at your own risk.

This was never my intention, to brave this famed event, as I pondered another Phillies victory and chance to once again grab a strangle hold on the NL East title. As I pounded beers and Jagermeister in the parking lot, the last thing on my mind was the allure of a cheap meal and the opportunity to buy hot dogs in a bag by the dozen. But my life was destined to change forever, as my glossy eyed brother in law spilled the beans on Broad Street's dirty little, dastardly secret.

"You know this is dollar dog night, right?", he exclaimed with an eerie feel of uncertainty. I stumbled to the side, shook my head and responded in an apathetic blubbering that sounded much like who the hell cares. He responded with nervous grin and a chronicle of events that had been marked in infamy during past occurrences of this warped ballpark holiday.

Lets start with Monday, May 3rd,2010. The Phillies were at home and all seemed quiet until around the seventh inning. It was at this fateful time, that a fan dashed into sight from the right field area. He proudly sprinted around and made his way in a frenzy toward center. He evaded security like a swift moving tailback and seemed to feed on the confusion and fan frenzy reaction. That was until his act was rudely disturbed by the sinister taser of an unamused member of security. This highly publicized chase and apprehension? Dollar dog night, my friends.

I yawned with boredom as my ballpark companion moved to exhibit two in his bizarre, spooky tale. The scene was once again Citizens Bank Park on April 14th, 2010. A course of events was about to unfold that was described by many in attendance as one of the most vile, disgusting things that they had ever seen. A 21 year old man, who was obviously intoxicated, stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited all over an 11 year old girl. The case immediately became a media hot bed as the unfortunate drunk man had made the awful mistake of spewing chunks on an undercover police officer's daughter. His subsequent arrest with charges filed for aggravated assault and resisting arrest, brings about a simple question. Why did this disgusting young punk feel such an urge to pull the trigger at such an inopportune time? Could this have anything to do with the fact that it was once again dollar dog night?

As we reclined in our stadium seats  amongst a playoff atmosphere of waving white towels and World Series aspirations, I almost questioned the accuracy of my brother in law's misguided legend. The night seemed perfect with not an unplanned occurrence in sight, before a man draped in a skintight red, body suit sprung to the field in a gallop of glory. Thoughts of terror and disbelief raced through my pickled mind as the cream of the crop in stadium security, known as Brave's outfielder Matt Diaz, tripped Redman's racing foot and crashed him to the turf. I tried to blurt out an obscenity but unfortunately, I had a dollar hot dog, permanently lodged in my throat.

Nothing disturbs me more than admitting defeat or even that I may have been wrong. So I furiously tried to explain why this dollar hot dog night had taken on the characteristics of a Halloween witching hour. Are the dogs laced with some type of psychedelic drug? Does the average fan have that much money left over for beer, that he grows a full coat of fur and begins to howl? I don't think that it will ever be explained nor will I ever doubt the mysterious haunting factor of the ballpark frank ever again. And as I fired up my grill and prepared the meat for a serene Tuesday night cookout, one thing was blatantly apparent. I would be enjoying nothing but a juicy cheeseburger for dinner that evening.

Kevin Kolb: One Quarter Franchise QB

I think we have all become too familiar with Andy Reid's promises and commitments. His press conferences have become ironic, paradoxical, and downright unreliable. What once was the voice of a stubborn system stickler has turned to the wavering crumble of a man desperate to win football games. Today's decision to temporarily pull the plug on Kevin Kolb did little to dispel this recent trend.

Not a soul outside of the immediate camp Reid will know the true reason why Kevin Kolb will once again take his familiar place on the Philadelphia Eagle's bench. Was it the spectacular growth and play of Vick, a weakening confidence in the seemingly shaky Kolb, or organizational pressure to not throw a chance at a competitive season down the toilet? What we do know, for sure, is that this rapid change in plan has dealt a serious blow to the brilliant plan of Kolb becoming the heir apparent to Donovan McNabb.

 Reid seemed to make it clear at his early evening press conference that this was not an injury related decision and politely motioned that the change was based on issues of performance. It also seemed clear that the job now lies in the hands of Vick, to capture for the season and lead this team. So in essence, Kolb will take his newly acquired 12 million dollar contract and attempt to once again "learn and progress in the system". In reality, by the time he retires, he may be better suited to author a book on the system than to execute it.

 It is now important to analyze what kind of effect this benching will have on the psyche of Kolb. If he ever does get his starting job back, will the youngster be constantly looking over his shoulder for his next replacement? One could not blame him for hesitantly taking the field and attempting to force the issue in lieu of his lack of big game experience and Reid's quick hook. The media, coaching staff, and Eagles locker room all describe Kolb as a mentally tough, born leader with an uncommonly strong desire to succeed. He will need to be these traits, and perhaps more, to overcome this slap in the face and continue his trust in Reid and the organization.

 So without further pageantry, we move forward in the Michael Vick Era. He has received coach Reid's vote of confidence and will be starting for the team that took a gigantic risk to sign him. Not to mention, the revived one will also put on display his best bargaining chip for his own lucrative contract. Until that point we will faithfully wait for the words of our coach and fearless leader, to propel us to another playoff run. That is, if we put any credence in the speech of a man who once told us Donovan McNabb is returning as our quarterback and Kevin Kolb is the future of our franchise.

Five Things The Average Fan Does Better Than An NFL Coach

It goes without saying that any devoted NFL fan has at one time or another had aspirations of participating at some level in the game. Whether you have yearned to step under center, man the sidelines, or just make that crucial management decision to cut that under performing bum, we have all pondered the prospect of living in the gridiron spotlight. So, for you, the fans and the dreamers, I have prepared a clever everyday list of things that you could do better than active NFL coaches.

1. I have a firm belief that the average fan could win more replay challenges, manage time and give more stimulating press conferences than Andy Reid. Coach Reid is notorious for letting the red flag fly out of his pocket with reckless abandon, for using timeouts like the game lasts one half, and for giving reporters the much needed sleep that they have desired. The common fan knows when to argue (with the wife) and when to give up the fight. We all have deadlines at work and busy family schedules that we must perfect by using our organizational and time management skills. And we have been known to deliver powerful work presentations that have captured the minds and emotions of our superiors. One point for the NFL fan.

2. We can control our team and exercise disciplinary procedures more efficiently than Wade Phillips. Phillips is quickly earning the distinction as the coach with the most talented roster that refuses to live up to their lofty salaries. His players speak out of turn at press conferences, they have heated debates on the sidelines, and his ten year old offensive coordinator is drooling to take his job. All of this while he stares,like a rigid zombie on the sidelines. Last time I checked, all of us have been able to put our children in check when they misbehave. The majority of common folks set specific guidelines and expectations and dare I say enforce consequences when rules are broken. Check goes to the fan

3. We conduct ourselves with more class and dignity than Rex Ryan. The king of obscenity, screams, curses and berates all who fall within an earshot. The only time his team or the opposition is safe occurs when his mouth is filled with a pile of Oreos or Twinkies. What Rex the genius has not discovered is the reality that he motivates his enemies and places undue pressure on the very football squad that he should be protecting. So for all of you fans who have successfully mingled at a party, attended a dinner, or spoke in public without being offensive--- DING DING! You are a winner! Hell, anyone who has ever stuck to a diet for more than two days has the slight edge over Ryan.

4. We feel superior to any member of the Detroit Lions coaching staff. Have you ever won anything? Ever? A pickup basketball game? An instant lottery ticket? A game of tic tac toe against a five year old? Well my friends, that puts you in an advantageous position in this comparison. Linebacker Ernie Simms, who spent the last few seasons in Detroit, looked like a kid at Christmas when his Philadelphia Eagles defeated his former group of whipping posts. Enough said. Savor this victory,fans.

5. A longer life expectancy than Mike Singletary, Tom Coughlin, Brad Childress,or Tom Cable. Singletary will, at some point, collapse during an awe inspiring, angry tirade, directed at the media and his players. Coughlin is rumored to be suffering from deep depression after he finally figured out which Manning he coaches. Brad Childress is riddled with pain over the prospect of working on Brett Favre's ranch after an 0-2 start. And Tom Cable knows damn well that owner Al Davis will wake up one morning and threaten to fire him if he does not start Jim Plunkett. Now who in God's name has that pressure at the local 7-11? The fan and his healthy heart wins again.

Now that I have assisted you in reaching your goals of becoming one of the NFL's elite, the call of reality drags me back to business. Both of my home phone lines are on hold with Jerry Jones and Jeffrey Lurie. And it is with great regret that I inform all of you that I turned down the head coaching job for the NY Jets. Somebody told me the camera adds ten pounds.

Questions In Birdland. Are The Eagles League Prey?

For the record, call me the first one to admit when I've made a mistake. I previously stated, for all of Eagles nation, that many essential questions would be answered following the Bird's week one slug fest against the Green Bay Packers. This great statement of prognostication could not have been further from the truth. What we have been left with is very little clarity and unfortunately, even more issues and concerns than we ever would have imagined during preseason and training camp.

While it is natural to encounter a series of uncertain circumstances and uncomfortable predicaments during a season, it is rare that one would feel the need to examine and address these issues after week one of the season. But, one thing that we can be sure of and that this blogger has already made crystal clear, is that this years Philadelphia Eagles are hiking through unknown terrain both with roster decisions and performance expectations. So without further rambling, I bring you a disturbing set of new questions that we, as fans, must attempt to sleep on.

1. Who really is the starting quarterback of this team and true leader under center? As predicted, Kevin Kolb has already appeared on the injury report after being diagnosed with a concussion following a hit from behind in Sunday's game. What is even more disturbing is that Kolb played as if he had received the concussion in pre game warm ups. He looked flustered, out of sync, and dare we say nervous during his 2010 debut. The offense sputtered repeatedly under his direction as his poise and accuracy left much to be desired. The performance could only be summed up as shaky and somewhat dreadful

As Michael Vick took the helm, following Kolb's injury, the offense developed that special flow that we have come to expect. The Packer defense fell on their heels and appeared to lose some of the aggressive, attacking mentality that was demonstrated in the first quarter. Vick was maneuvering, with ease, by linebackers and demonstrated a calm confidence in the pocket that had previously seemed to elude him in the Atlanta golden years.

To make things simple, a quick decision must be made. Does this team want to compete for a playoff spot this season, or do they wish to rebuild and take a step backward while developing Kevin Kolb? The likely scenario has Michael Vick starting this week against the Lions and I think we all expect a dazzling statistical performance and a decisive victory. With two weeks of a dynamic, Michael Vick orchestrated offense, quarterback controversy will not even be fair terminology to describe the unrest in Philadelphia.

2. Have the week one injuries set this football team back beyond recovery? The devastating injuries to fullback Leonard Weaver and offensive lineman Jamaal Jackson should be beyond disturbing for Eagle's fans. Weaver's role as a blocker, ability to run like a feature back, and presence catching the ball out of the backfield are irreplaceable. This remains a bigger issue as second year back, Lesean McCoy, struggles to grasp the offense and looks to have made very little progress in improving awareness in blocking schemes.

Center Jamaal Jackson has always been a valued source of leadership and stability on the offensive line. While those filling in have done an admirably adequate job, losing the anchor of your offensive line in week 1 presents some adjustment prospects that cannot be easily put into place. This is especially evident because of this offensive line's inability to stay healthy for a full season and maximize its potential as a cohesive unit.

3. At the risk of beating a dead horse...... The play calling??!! While Andy Reid has been badgered and berated for not having a more balanced, unpredictable offensive attack, the urgency for change has reached a level of code red.  Aside from his 4th and 1 play call where Michael Vick dove into the teeth of a tiring Green Bay defense, this scheme does not suit neither a first year quarterback nor one that is essentially attempting a comeback from a multi year layoff. I have said for years that it was never fair for Reid to ask Donovan Mcnabb to consistently throw the football 50 times per game. Truth be told, we as fans, were spoiled by a high level of success in spite of the stubborn play calling by Andy Reid and famed puppet offensive coordinator, Marty Mornhinweg. The bottom line continues to be that you need to effectively run the football in the NFL to consistently win big football games.

4. We know there is play making speed but is there any hint of guts or toughness in this wide receiving corps? No need to rehash the down field, blazing speed of Desean Jackson, or the shifty quickness and elusive ability of  Jeremy Maclin. The play making abilities of the top two and their ability to change game momentum with the blink of an eye, are well known by Eagle's fans and opposing defensive coordinators. What I am addressing here is the ability to shake off a physical corner at the line of scrimmage and fearlessly come across the middle with a gritty acceptance of a pending teeth shattering smack. All signs point to this type of player being rookie and former Florida Gator star, Riley Cooper. At 6' 3'' and nearly 220 pounds, Cooper possesses the body and the mental toughness to execute these "tough" yards through the air. As seen in the preseason, Cooper can be a difficult assignment for a smaller corner and has demonstrated to have both the route running ability and the soft hands to balance out this group of smaller, shifty wide outs.

While  nobody wishes to hit the panic button after a one touchdown loss to a great football team in week 1, we constantly look for the silver lining with which a team can begin to build a successful football season. Unfortunately this nor any football team can begin this course of improvement without a firm analysis of weak points or mishaps from the previous week. Compound that with a flurry of key injuries and a fundamental confusion over the team's identity, and you have a head pounding recipe for disaster. More to be determined in the next few weeks but until then, sleep well, Eagle green.

Heis Or Lows. Why Reggie Bush Should Keep The Heisman.

As if the burden and immense stress on the USC football program wasn't enough. The storied football university is now dealing with mounting rumors that The Heisman Trust is seriously considering stripping former star running back, Reggie Bush, of his 2005 trophy. While the violations seem blatant and borderline criminally ridiculous, there are some substantial reasons that Bush should be able to retain his prized Heisman Trophy. Hang on tight Trojans, as we explore the defense of Reggie Bush and hope that he can strike the famed pose for eternity.

1. Let's give some credit where it is due. Bush may single-handedly be responsible for ground breaking change in the infrastructure of NCAA rules. How can we penalize a man who may finally bring us a long awaited salary cap to college football?

2. The value of family. Since when is it a crime to provide such a lucrative stream of income for ones parents, that they can dine, travel, and experience the finer things in life without having to worry about pesky bills and obligations? I could just hear the tone of disappointment in my father's voice as I told him about his complimentary 1500.00 per week and free airfare to watch one of the finest college football teams in the nation. Taking care of the folks is a noble gesture and the generosity of Bush is as heartwarming as the prospect of lavish rent free living.

3. The promotion of Pete Carroll.Without Reggie Bush, college football's most overrated, talent swarmed coach would have never had the opportunity to try another flop at the pro football level. Reggie worked so quickly on this job that it was almost like he arranged a relay race to expedite the process. If you look closely at the video footage you can almost see Carroll passing a baton to Lane Kiffin as they shamelessly sprinted away from their respective universities.

4. For the love and glory of Matt Leinart. Reggie has a special place in his heart for old college quarterback, Matt Leinart. He is well aware that Matt can only enjoy NFL success by living vicariously through his former teammate's accomplishments at the next level. To strip Bush of his Heisman would be like striking a dagger through the heart of Matt Leinart. And seriously,how many times can you CUT a guy before he is seen reporting the weather on a local news station?

5. If the Juice is in the clear, what should Reggie fear? For God's sake OJ never had to return his precious award even though he did consider selling every known scrap of football worth to casinos and memorabilia dealers. And as we all know, all perks and financial "grants" were bestowed to Reggie's kin with no strings attached. Unless you consider strings to be touchdowns and a quest for a national title.

It should now be clear to all that Reggie Bush should retain his Heisman Trophy. Not for his unethical actions nor his disregard for NCAA policy, but for his charitable intentions and consistent demonstrations of good will towards his loved ones and closest gridiron acquaintances. But if all else fails, Bush may be forced to flee with the Heisman and risk a high speed chase. Unfortunately, for him, Kim Kardashian does not strike me as the type to orchestrate an escape in a white Ford Bronco.